Dreams

the clock keeps removing time
lost among the weeks and days
lost among the rush of life
only to surprise us late one night
 
the sky paints the night dark gray
the clock continues to tick and tock
the day rolls by in a boxcar seat
each moment leaving behind a dream
 
dreams which never come true
dreams lost and wasted
the clock continues its annoying drum
ignoring the chaos created
 
taking a step back into time
allows for reexamination
the clock stops and silence falls
to permit a great reflection
 
sometimes dreams are what we chose
a curtain drawn in sleep
other times dreams partner with imagination
guiding us to follow that which we seek
 
as the clock starts to sound again
reality becomes clear
my dream to have a life worth living
is possible even with a mountain of fear
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Love, Acceptance, Intervention

thank you, Lord
I have a safe place to be
there’s Peace and Support
Love and Understanding
 
Hate seems to be
magnified
since my younger days
or maybe I wasn’t exposed
 
Love
Tolerance
Acceptance
grew within our home
 
peaceful debates
inside my childhood walls
no place for Hate
no place for assault
 
I learned early
I don’t have to agree
or like every person
inorder to be me

I learned instead
Love
even if repulsed by
different thoughts
 
Love
Acceptance
Intervention, Prevention
some roads to start today
 
to combat Hate
live in Openness
Intervene before
souls are maliciously swayed
 
Loneliness - a major culprit -
a wanting to belong and be seen
but hiding behind deceitful ideals
is only reproachful and cowardly
 
sadness fills my heart
when we don’t understand
the power of individual actions
affirming existence and connection
  
smile
“hi”
“how are you”
today may seem trivial
 
but I have witnessed
the transformation
from acknowledging a person
as an individual
 
we must see all people
the world chooses to ignore
don’t let anyone live in Isolation
show them they are not alone
 
Isolation and Ignorance
only breed Fear and Hate
a dangerous place to be
consuming and contaminating the soul
 
stop Greed
stop Anger
stop Isolation
stop Division
 
teach
Love, Compassion
teach children
they are seen
 
Intervene
before the youth are lost
to violence inspired
by Evil
 
I’ll never tire
of reminding
to teach
Love and Respect for all
 
Hate
may be powerful
but let us choose
Love, Acceptance, and Intervention 

for these are inspirational tools

I Am Still Here

years of pressure
build up inside
no light to see
no hope or drive
 
escaping deep
inside my head
excluding the world
to feel safe instead
 
I tried to run
but never could hide
so I injured my body
to soothe my mind
 
I didn’t understand
what was happening to me
I still don’t know
I’ll just let that be
 
looking at my battle scars and
remembering how life was
today a thought occurred to me
as I listened to my Pastor’s words

Jesus came to live with us
He knows how humans work
He showed us His unconditional Love
by being among us in the dirt
 
often when asked
“how are you doing today”
my popular response was
“I am here”
 
today I heard
and understood that
Yes!
I am still here!
 
‘still’ is just
one
additional word
but it creates a whole new meaning
 
‘still’
provides room for
Faith and Hope
and remembrance of His being
 
He walks with us
He walks in us
Yes
I am still here

Spinning Thoughts

spinning
spinning
spinning
around go my thoughts
 
I need to grab
just one
this continuous circus must
stop
 
I feel this chair
as I sit
I feel the floor
and tap on it
 
something is off
something isn’t right
I wish I could feel some emotion
instead there’s nothing but sight
 
am I real
or am I not
I can’t pinpoint it
with these crazy thoughts
 
these thoughts I have
won’t go away
maybe I can accept
that they are here today
 
let them become
background noise
this way I can pray
for peace and more
 
right now
I accept God’s peace
and can reflect it
with saying “Hey”
 
the return smile
from saying “Hi”
moves the noise back
behind the unbearable line

Is This a Test?

why would God “test” us
He already knows our names
yes, there are times which are difficult
yes, there are times to pray
 
only recently have I realized
how much different I see this world
I don’t see tests
I don’t see the same ordeals
 
I see God challenging me
He knows which buttons to push
to get me going within His direction
even when it’s difficult
 
I don’t see Him “testing” me
I see him granting opportunities
opportunities to grow in faith
opportunities to decide which road to take
 
does God test you
does the universe torment you
or are you given choices to make
opportunities to decide your fate

Filling the Cracks

our world is fallen
our lives are broken
but God is there
to fill the cracks
 
our earth is dying
we are responsible
but God is there
to inspire the impossible
 
we are at war
inside and out
but God is there
to create light within doubt
 
our hearts ache
we wound our Temples
but God is there
to walk with each mile
 
our world is fallen
our lives are broken
but God is there
as we seal the cracks

Answers?

What has changed
This past year was so different
What created this space
How did I handle all of it
 
There’s been frustrations and setbacks
There’s been anger and fear
Yet somehow through all of this
I am still here
 
No hospital visits required
No cutting or any self-harm
No retreating inside my head
Although the urges were there to act upon
 
What has changed
I’m different somehow
It seems to have started
After I left that town
 
I’m more aware now of His blessings
I see my world differently
There’s so much love and support
Which has helped me grow exponentially
 
I don’t need to know the answer
To how this change could be
All I need to know
Is that God is always beside me
 
He has placed me with a family
(a couple of families in fact)
Where grace and love are present
I don’t need more specifics than that
 
And with these gifts
I can give back
To all I encounter
To all that matters
 
Listen
Faith
Trust
Accept

I don't have all the answers and I am fine with that