Answers?

What has changed
This past year was so different
What created this space
How did I handle all of it
 
There’s been frustrations and setbacks
There’s been anger and fear
Yet somehow through all of this
I am still here
 
No hospital visits required
No cutting or any self-harm
No retreating inside my head
Although the urges were there to act upon
 
What has changed
I’m different somehow
It seems to have started
After I left that town
 
I’m more aware now of His blessings
I see my world differently
There’s so much love and support
Which has helped me grow exponentially
 
I don’t need to know the answer
To how this change could be
All I need to know
Is that God is always beside me
 
He has placed me with a family
(a couple of families in fact)
Where grace and love are present
I don’t need more specifics than that
 
And with these gifts
I can give back
To all I encounter
To all that matters
 
Listen
Faith
Trust
Accept

I don't have all the answers and I am fine with that
 
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Compliments

I can't hear
I won’t hear
I refuse
I belittle
 
Why?
Why not?
Do I deserve?
Are they true?
 
Compliments –
The truth –
Gifts from God
Noticed by others
 
Do I believe them?
Working on it
Do I accept them?
Working on it
 
“Thank you”
My current response
Remembering
These are my gifts and strengths

When I deny
I deny God’s blessings
I must try harder
I must accept
 
Compliments
I will accept
I thank you for noticing
I thank God for providing
 
I trust You
I love You
I’m learning
I’m growing into acceptance
 
Never stop growing
Never stop believing
Never stop trusting
Love, Love, Love

Prayers of the People

Our Father,

Thank You for the gifts of Your love, mercy, and comfort. You never leave any of us to fight our battles alone. We gather today as a community, a family. Let us help each other learn how to release our doubts, our fears, our prejudices…anything that holds us back from living as Christians. May we strengthen our own relationship with You by delivering acts of love and kindness, and showing forgiveness to others and towards ourselves. May we comfort each other through the darkness as we walk towards Your everlasting light.

We love You.

We trust You.

Amen

A Year of Thanksgiving

How long is a year
It seems to fly by
What have I learned
What have I tried
 
I’ve begun to truly understand
The power of prayer
I’m never alone
Because He is always there
 
A major lesson
Which sticks in my head
Is the need to slow down
To take life in
 
The strength behind words
What they truly mean
Has brought me closer
To a more faithful being
 
Flexibility – like cooked spaghetti –
Is an on-going lesson
I’m learning to “kiss the gray”
And to change my reactions
   
Taking care of my body
Has become a life-style
To strengthen my Temple
Both inside and out
 
I pray this coming year
Will bring more insights
Not through “New Year’s Resolutions”
But with growth and a love of life

Labels???

Major Depression
What does that mean?
Locked in a cage?
Feeling unclean?

Anxiety Disorders
Why give them a name?
All that these labels uncover
Is that I am insane

Every category I fit into
white, female, 36 years in age…
Mean nothing to me
I’m still lost in the waves

This ocean consumes all of me
My heart and beliefs
Things keep running together
I keep searching for peace

A few years ago
I found a label that includes
I had forgotten the lessons
I learned as a youth

Christian – it’s a label
But with a whole different tune
It’s positive and poetic
Without blinding the truth

This is a label
I choose to accept
This is a label
I need to protect

Our society puts labels
On everything in life
Even on our food items
How am I to know what is right?

The only label I need is
“a child of God”
I’m not picky about which religion
Because in this label we all belong.

Run

I jogged and ran
A long time ago
I traveled with our dog
She couldn’t wait to get home

And dad would run
So close behind
He liked my speed
Which I sung in my mind

I loved the breeze
Against my face
I loved the rhythm
Of my pace

Slow but steady
I grew strong
I remember in gym class
Leaving friends on the lawn

I liked to run
And to hear my breath
I was focused on the journey
Not what was clouding my head

There was a type of peace
That was lighting my path
I followed it home
Where I could rest at last

Maybe one day
I will try again
To pick up my feet
And face the wind

One step at a time
I can loosen my grip
On the anxiety that binds
And hides my true spirit

There will be a day
When I’ll stop being afraid
I will point my finger
And put anxiety in its place

Only God really knows
How grateful I feel
Towards one particular person
Who’s helping to break this seal

This day will come soon
I have so much support
Loved ones cheering me on
Loved ones pushing me forward

They provide the Lord’s light
Which still guides my path
Turning me towards the sun
And out of the dark mess

Maybe tomorrow
Or maybe today
I can break free
And run again

9/11

Too much blood
Too much death
Too much destruction

We remember fear
We remember anger
We remember hate

I understand why the fear holds on
I understand why the anger lingers
I understand why so many hate this day, of all days

But

This fear eats away at our bodies
This anger makes us stuck in the past
This hate destroys our souls.

I remember His teachings
I remember His love
And I remember that no one will ever be able to fully comprehend why tragedies like this happen

My prayer for today, of all days
Let go of fear
Let go of anger
Let go of hate

This monstrous attack was planned by a group with harden hearts…
Not by an entire community
Not by a different religion
Not by God

I pray today, of all days
We remember our country coming together to mourn
We remember the heroes who saved lives
We remember God has never forsaken any of His children all over this world

I pray today, of all days
We will turn away from fear, anger, hate
We will recognize that strength comes from loving all
We will teach and share love, compassion, and truth

I pray today, of all days
That somehow it is within our will to forgive
Forgive those hardened hearts
Forgive ourselves and each other
Forgive the fear, anger, and hate

I pray today, of all days, that we can move forward…