Gratitude

Today I am grateful because I can read.
Today I am grateful because I can write.
Today I am grateful for leaders in my communities – the ones who challenge the wrongs of this world:
Triune.
Gateway.
The YMCA.
I am grateful for the people who do not sit back and just watch as the world turns.
Today I pray for Senator John McCain and his family:
A man whose example was to challenge, yet simultaneously work together for results.
Today I pray that I will continue to learn about my entire world.
I pray that I will have the strength to do my part as a citizen within all my communities.
I pray that I do not let any limitations I’ve labeled myself with interfere.
I pray I will not sit back and watch.
I pray I will challenge, yet simultaneously work together for results.
A person belongs to many communities.
My community includes more than just Gateway.
My community includes more than just my position at the YMCA.
My community includes more than my church, my family, my friends…
Every person on this Earth is my community.
And I know I cannot personally reach out to all,
But I can do my part.
I can be part of Gateway;
A part of the YMCA;
A part of Triune;
A part of Greenville, South Carolina.
I will write.
I will vote.
I will pray.
I will be Christian and spread His light.
I will be kind and gracious to the men and women I encounter daily on the streets of Greenville.
I will be kind and gracious to myself…
For I have a community I carry within my own flesh – The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit.
I pray I can hear and understand my roles on this Earth.
Today I am grateful because I can read.
Today I am grateful because I can write.
Today I am grateful to know that I do have a voice.

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Masks

Who will I be today?
Which mask shall I choose to wear?
I am reminded of the game hide-n-seek
Moving blindly from here to there

I mistakenly believe the masks can’t change
Like they are sprayed in glue each day
Covering up the messes I make
While feigning a smile on my face.

I wear a mask of leadership
Within a place for fun and games
Running and playing within circles and squares
Keeping the angels safe

At another location I struggle for purpose
(Unaware of the mask I choose)
I look for perfection, order, and rules
But this is a battle I will always lose

I do have two safe islands I visit
Where each mask can freely come off
But then the emotions want to take over
And I’m afraid to talk

Yes, these two islands are safe
But the feelings I’ve ignored for so long
Flood back towards me unbound
I’m knocked out and thrown overboard

My words are lost as I drown
There’s too many thoughts in my mind
I can’t remember which mask I should wear
The swirling waves won’t subside

Who will I be today?
Which mask shall I choose to wear?
I am reminded of the game hide-n-seek
Moving blindly from here to there

One Day

Should’ve known better

Totally messed up

How fast the heart sinks

Drowning out its love

 

Tears fall hard

The rain won’t stop

What was I thinking?

No, I didn’t think enough

 

The fire dims

There’s no way out

Must trust God

Must trust myself

 

Signed up for this

Can’t give up now

But what’s the wise move

When there’s so much doubt?

 

Wilted from exhaustion

Emotions are rough

Often working hard

Is just not enough

 

Need to take care

Need to pray

Comfort will only come

If I surrender today

My Mirror

As I stare into a mirror

A stranger I see

She looks strong and confident

I know it’s not me

 

I look a little closer

Into her deep brown eyes

Something is familiar and

Strikes a chord down inside

 

Is she a friend

Or is she pretend

It’s hard to tell

So I look again

 

As I watch her closely

I begin to pray

May God give me the power

To look away

 

But I cannot divide

My eyes from the mirror

God calls me towards it

He knows I’m a believer

 

I reach out to the reflection

She grabs my hand

We begin to walk

Like two old friends

 

As our bond grows stronger

The mirror melts away

Suddenly I know

We are one in the same

 

I realize who she is

A piece of myself

I thought she was lost

Among the self-doubt

 

As we move on forward

Towards the door

I look to my side

She is there no more

 

Now that we are one

I can ride the waves

Holding tight to the Light

Letting God guide my way

 

Becoming friends with myself

Is a long and hard battle

But I know I will heal

My faith won’t unravel

 

There are so many times

God has carried me through

But I can live a life worth living

Because He gave me the tools

It’s a New Day

It’s a new day

Life begins fresh

The sun rises again

It’s a new day

Time is lost while roaming through the trees

Slipping away into darkness

It’s a new day

Freedom is caged in fog

Searching for a ray of His light

It’s a new day

Health cannot overcome this illness

Distortion disrupts and chaos thrives

It’s a new day

Truth is disguised behind fear

Sleep will not come tonight

It’s a new day

Time searches to find healing

A new path is now clear

It’s a new day

Freedom soars through the air

As Light shines the way

It’s a new day

Health regains consciousness

Allowing fear to be put in its place

It’s a new day

Truth becomes curious

Breaking the concrete foundation

It’s a new day

Life begins fresh

The sun rises again

 

 

 

???

Cool?

No.

Hero?

No.

Famous?

No.

Fantastic?

Maybe…

Good?

Not enough.

Awesome?

Definitely, but still not enough.

Love?

Yes, forever. But there’s more…

Father?

Yes, but more…

Son?

Yes, but still more…

Savior?

No doubt! But there is still more…

How much more?

Incomprehensibly more…

I don’t understand.

Have faith.

What He holds in His hands, we cannot totally understand.

Embrace fear.

Courage can not exist without fear.

Bring Him home.

Stop looking above.

He is here.

We are all loved!

 

Music Lost

Music floats through my veins

Carrying me along the rough terrain

Life seems to never stop

Music tends to hold me up

 

The notes are different every day

I wish I remembered how to play

But my piano days are long gone

Dragged away to remain unsung

 

How does one practice music every day

And then find themselves lost and astray

Is it the medication or the deliberate shocks

Or is it just time that has locked me up

 

I miss the days I danced on the keys

My emotions emerged unknowingly

Light and soft when my mood was strong

Loud and disruptive to prove I belonged

 

Maybe one day it will all come back

Or am I meant to be forever off track

I am grateful that at least I can hear

The music ringing in my ears

 

I will continue to listen openly

Without regrets or negativity

Enjoying music all day long

Never to forget from where the inspiration comes