I Am Still Here

years of pressure
build up inside
no light to see
no hope or drive
 
escaping deep
inside my head
excluding the world
to feel safe instead
 
I tried to run
but never could hide
so I injured my body
to soothe my mind
 
I didn’t understand
what was happening to me
I still don’t know
I’ll just let that be
 
looking at my battle scars and
remembering how life was
today a thought occurred to me
as I listened to my Pastor’s words

Jesus came to live with us
He knows how humans work
He showed us His unconditional Love
by being among us in the dirt
 
often when asked
“how are you doing today”
my popular response was
“I am here”
 
today I heard
and understood that
Yes!
I am still here!
 
‘still’ is just
one
additional word
but it creates a whole new meaning
 
‘still’
provides room for
Faith and Hope
and remembrance of His being
 
He walks with us
He walks in us
Yes
I am still here
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Filling the Cracks

our world is fallen
our lives are broken
but God is there
to fill the cracks
 
our earth is dying
we are responsible
but God is there
to inspire the impossible
 
we are at war
inside and out
but God is there
to create light within doubt
 
our hearts ache
we wound our Temples
but God is there
to walk with each mile
 
our world is fallen
our lives are broken
but God is there
as we seal the cracks

Answers?

What has changed
This past year was so different
What created this space
How did I handle all of it
 
There’s been frustrations and setbacks
There’s been anger and fear
Yet somehow through all of this
I am still here
 
No hospital visits required
No cutting or any self-harm
No retreating inside my head
Although the urges were there to act upon
 
What has changed
I’m different somehow
It seems to have started
After I left that town
 
I’m more aware now of His blessings
I see my world differently
There’s so much love and support
Which has helped me grow exponentially
 
I don’t need to know the answer
To how this change could be
All I need to know
Is that God is always beside me
 
He has placed me with a family
(a couple of families in fact)
Where grace and love are present
I don’t need more specifics than that
 
And with these gifts
I can give back
To all I encounter
To all that matters
 
Listen
Faith
Trust
Accept

I don't have all the answers and I am fine with that
 

Prayers of the People

Our Father,

Thank You for the gifts of Your love, mercy, and comfort. You never leave any of us to fight our battles alone. We gather today as a community, a family. Let us help each other learn how to release our doubts, our fears, our prejudices…anything that holds us back from living as Christians. May we strengthen our own relationship with You by delivering acts of love and kindness, and showing forgiveness to others and towards ourselves. May we comfort each other through the darkness as we walk towards Your everlasting light.

We love You.

We trust You.

Amen